I almost ruined my life today
I value my present, past, future and am extremely driven. I was planning a ski trip in Colorado, running several half marathons, camping in Utah, and continue to learn to foster a new found love to climb. All of those things are on pause, but pails in comparison to the possible impact to the course of humanity. Sound too egotistical? Thats fine. I am comfortable with my high degree of selflessness.
I free fell 25 plus feet after somehow slipping over the essential act of connecting my climbing harness to the auto-belay. I climbed(almost) all the way to the top and strained to keep myself on the small holds as the toll of a long session set in. And I fell. No familiar tug and catch of the auto-belay. Just a fraction of a second. No time to process the sensation after a demanding route on the wall. If anything the relaxation after such a strain may have played a roll in saving me, along with not being strong or trained enough to grab the next two rocks and climb another 6+ feet.
………………
GROUND. A forgiving one. Flash moment of impact. More stunned than jarred. A lasting punch of disbelief. I landed heel > ass > back > arms > head > roll… I walk it off… pure adrenaline, which less than 4 hours later is still pumping. Surprising clarity. I can tell my heel is not great, but I can walk, breathe, and most importantly, think as fast and crispy as any-time in my life. I didn’t land on my head, or break my back or neck. I don’t have to make a beeline for the hospital. I didn’t land on my climbing partner. I can call my mom with less than devastating news, and a deescalated story that wont keep her up at night about by mental lapse or the prospect of me being vegetative.
*takes deep breath* wow.
I am alive. I will be able to run again and explore. I can still plan for the future. I still have the chance to see my work of 5+ years launch into the world next month. I can still make a lasting change to humanity. I can build relationships, and work towards my mission to solved the world’s hardest problems that can help the most people.
I can still hold on to the moments… I can continue to push.
The journey for everyone is different. But control your reality, because you can.
